THE Miami of Ohio State University

Congratulations are in order for my alma mater, Miami University, or as my buddy The Show calls them, "THE Miami of Ohio State University." You see, I graduated from Miami, but I'm a life-long Ohio State fan. I'll always root for my school first, but realistically I wouldn't want the Buckeyes to blow a perfectly good national championship season on a 7-4 Miami team. The Show went to Purdue and often bitches when I refer to the Bucks in the first person. According to him, since I didn't go to school there, I can't say "we." He also gets annoyed at how often I drive the mid-major promotional train for my Miami Redskins.

It appears I know too much about my school and I get on The Show's (and everyone else's) last nerve when I claim things like, "if we played Iowa in week 2 instead of week 1 during the 2003 season, we'd have gone undefeated and won a BCS bowl." I just don't think we were ready to go into Kinnick Stadium with their pink visitor's locker room without a warm-up game against a cream puff.

Or, "Ben Roethlisberger should have won the Heisman trophy over Jason White." Come on, White went undrafted and never took a snap in the NFL before retiring. He also went to Oklahoma (who I can't stand) where he had some amazing lineman and skill position guys around him. You mean to tell me that he was the best college football player in the country? Please. He wasn't even the best quarterback. Here's a few that should have beat him out, in no particular order: Big Ben, J.P. Losman, Eli Manning and Philip Rivers. Any one of those guys could have stepped into that program and won a national title. Last I checked, White choked in the big game that year.

But I honestly believe things like this. That's my problem. I openly complain about the east coast media bias and the fact that none of my teams get the respect they deserve. At the same time, I'm probably the most biased person you'll ever meet when it comes to sports fandum. Ah, the duality of man.

You may have also noticed my calling our boys the Redskins, as I am and will forever be one. It's true, by the time I arrived on campus in the late summer of 1997 the university had already made the switch. But, my dad was a Miamian and there was never a doubt in my mind where I was going from the first day I entered high school. I don't know what this made-up bird is, but there is no such thing as a Redhawk. There is a Red-Tailed Hawk, but alas, no big red bird in the hawk family. By looking at the photos, it appears that the red-tailed hawk is, in fact, the bird that the university was modeling our logos and mascot after. And admittedly, Redhawks sounds infinitely cooler than Red-Tailed Hawks. But I seriously don't think it's a big deal to be called the Redskins anyways. Although the name may have had a negative connotation to it a hundred years ago, the fact remains that our beloved Mother Miami is named after the Native American tribe that once occupied the lands in the Miami Valley of Southwestern Ohio. We're proud of that. They were too. Then the university had to get so cravenly PC that they wouldn't know a good time if it hit them in the face.

Also, this will be the last time you see me write the phrase "Miami of Ohio." It's Miami University people. The stupid Hurricanes down in South Beach? They are the University of Miami. If you're going to put an (OH) next to our name in the bottom line, you damn well better put a (FL) next to theirs.

FACT: Miami University was founded in Oxford, Ohio in 1809.
FACT: Florida did not officially become a state until 1821. Prior to that it was owned by Spain.

In other words, we were first. Not only that, but you'll all be serving my kids fries on the way to a skiing trip. How do you like them apples?

On with the original reason for this post...

Last night, the mighty Redskins pointy-ballers gave the Ohio University Green Weenies a serious beat down in Athens, Ohio. Final, 38-7. For the record, that is where my sister went to school.

Also last night, the mighty Redskins hoopsters gave the Dayton Flying Ghetto Boys a serious beat down at Millett Hall in Oxford. Final, 58-42. For the record, my two cousins Bryan and Neil attend college there.

This past Saturday, the mighty #11 "Redskins on Ice (with sticks)" beat the Drunken Irish of Notre Dame 2-0. For the record, nobody of any significance in my life that I'm aware of went to school there.

Just for one night, I will allow my teams to make it seem as though I am better than all of these people. Of course, that's the Miami way. We're just better than you. The sooner you can accept this, the better chance we have of being friends.