The Sixth Cents IX

There wasn't very much controversy during the past two weeks in sports unless you count the American Olympic teams falling flat on their collective faces (for the most part.) Here's to hoping that hottie Sasha Cohen shakes her little ass today, kicks a little ass, and lands the USA a gold medal that Michelle Kwan could never deliver. Aside from that, here are some things that I've noticed since last time and a couple of things that I didn't...thank God.
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1. Rough week on the ice
Miami University dropped a pair of games at Michigan State over the weekend and fell to #3 in the nation as a result. The Spartans jumped from #10 all the way to #5 after hard fought 3-2 and 3-1 victories over the Redhawks. Miami has always struggled up in East Lansing, but had already clinched the CCHA regular season title and a #1 seed for the Road to the Joe. Minnesota and Wisconsin are now ranked #1 and #2 with Boston University rounding out the top five at #4. Miami will travel to Bowling Green on Thursday before finishing at home against those same BGSU Falcons on Saturday night. They have earned a first round bye and will have home ice advantage for their second round CCHA playoff match-up. They will host the lowest remaining seed after the bottom eight teams duke it out during the first week in March.

Team USA hockey backed into the medal round today after Latvia lost 5-2 to Kazakhstan today. The Americans (1-3-1) finished the opening round with a 5-4 loss to Russia this afternoon and will take on Pool A winner Finland tomorrow. The Fins finished the opening round at 5-0, posting shuts in four of their five games. In allowing just two goals all tournament, they have a +17 goal differential and have scored the second-most goals only to Russia's 23. The US, which hasn't played poorly by any means, has three one-goal losses and failed to score more than a goal against both Slovakia and Sweden.

The St. Louis Blues, despite not playing a single game due to the NHL's Olympic break, has managed to lose six more games. I give them exactly a 0% chance of keeping their all sports record of consecutive years in the playoffs streak going beyond 25. At least some of our great players that we traded away (more like gave away for 6 cents on the dollar) are turning in great performances in the Winter Games. Pavol Demitra (the top player in +/- in the Olympics at +10) has 2 goals and 5 assists for Slovakia, Chris Pronger has 1 goal and 2 assists for Canada, Craig Conroy has 1 goal and 3 assists for the USA and Doug Weight has even chipped in an assist for the Americans. Current Blue Keith Tkachuk has no points, but has uncharacteristically stayed away from the penalty box, getting just 2 minutes thus far.
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2. I wish I was a little bit taller yawl
The NBA All-Star game and slam dunk competition were played this past weekend in Houston, Texas. Did anyone else NOT notice? I didn't catch one second of either event, but did manage to completely ignore the Rookie Challenge when we were out at the bars the other night. Instead I proceeded to get drunk with Amy and her cousins, as well as some of the crew, over at McGees. Then I ate some tiny sausages on Saturday night (thanks for the pics Pablo) and relaxed with a movie and some pizza on Sunday. All great ways to avoid the NBA.

Apparently I missed the 5'9" Nate Robinson, who won the slam dunk title after missing 246 dunks and putting down just 2. Andre Iguodala, who I wanted the Bulls to draft instead of Ben Gordon, was robbed after, allegedly, throwing down one of the best dunks of all-time. He caught a pass from Allen Iverson off the back of the backboard before gliding underneath the basket (yet in the air) and putting down a reverse slam on the other side. Crazy. Wish I'd seen it. Wait a minute. No I don't.

I guess if you're a midget and you can dunk they just give it to you automatically, huh? Or was it because he plays for the Knicks and the NBA has to give them SOMETHING this year since Isiah Thomas has ruined their team completely? Speaking of Isiah, Bill Simmons posted his awards for the All-Star weekend here, and the best was clearly the one below. For those of you who don't follow the NBA, Thomas religiously outbids himself for free agents, far overpaying for "me-first" type players like Jamal Crawford, Eddy Curry, Jalen Rose, Stephon Marbury, etc. He was also recently accused of sexual harassment by a former Knicks front office employee.

Best Joke That I Heard More Than Once This Weekend
Some variation of this one: "Did you hear that Anucha Browne Sanders wanted to settle with the Knicks for $2 million, but Isiah countered with $50 million over six years?
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3. Round Ball Report
The US Men's Soccer Team trounced another vastly inferior opponent en route to their World Cup appearance this summer. This time they burried Guatemala in Frisco, Texas by the score of 4-0. The goals were scored by Chris Klein, Ben Olsen, Brian Ching and Eddie Johnson. As good as it is to see the Americans dominate against this type of competition, that's what they should be doing. I think it'd be nice to get more tune-ups overseas against the top European teams that we could be facing if we advance past the opening round against the Czechs, Italians and Ghanans.

There are some bright spots to the domestic based matches though, including a look at some young players who are battling for the final roster spots. Right now, my 23-man roster would look something like this:

G Kasey Keller
G Joe Cannon
G Marcus Hahnemann
D Eddie Pope
D Steve Cherundolo
D Carlos Bocanegra
D Frankie Hejduk
D Cory Gibbs
D Oguchi Onyewu
D Gregg Berhalter
D/M Eddie Lewis
D/M Bobby Convey
M Claudio Reyna
M Landon Donovan
M DeMarcus Beasley
M Pablo Mastroeni
M Chris Klein
M Pat Noonan
M John O'Brien
F Brian McBride
F Eddie Johnson
F Taylor Twellman
F Josh Wolff

And yes, that is Heidi Klum, co-host for the World Cup Draw in Leipzig, Germany on December 9, 2005.
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4. Cry me a River
Did anyone else see the latest Vijay Singh controversy? This guy cries more than a four year old girl. It's no secret that Vijay has never liked Tiger Woods. Then he bad-mouthed Annika Sorenstam for trying to play in a PGA event, suggesting that he should be allowed to play in the LPGA too. This is, of course, absurd because the LPGA only permits women. The PGA, on the other hand, is not a men's tour, it's a tour for the best golfers in the world, period. Who cares if she plays as long as she has to play by the same rules?

Vijay has also had problems with fan favorite Phil Mickelson. The first of which happened at the Master's when Singh complained about the length of Mickelson's spikes. Now, according to an anonymous PGA official, Vijay requested they take a look at Phil's driver. You see, the two were paired against each other for the opening two rounds of the FBR Open this weekend and Phil routinely out drove Vijay. On average, he was 6.1 yards longer on Thursday and 15.4 yards longer on Friday. Of course, this had to be the driver. Or maybe Phil got some Vitamin B from Miguel Tejada, just like Rafael Palmeiro.
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5. The real reason 24 has me on the edge of my seat - SPOILER
It's been, what, 7-8 episodes already and still no Elisha Cuthbert? In the words of John McEnroe, "You can NOT be SERIOUS!" They even totally teased us a couple of weeks back by having Jack talk to Audrey about calling her and getting her into CTU before she found out on her own that her father was alive. My prediction: This new crazy terrorist guy (Bierko) from last night is going to try to figure out who was helping Nathanson and killing his men. When he finds out it was Jack, he'll go after his daughter, kidnap her and then BAM, we have an Elisha Cuthbert sighting. I'm thinking it won't be next week, but it's definitely coming in the next 2-4 episodes. For those of you, like me, who can't wait to see her, here she is. Enjoy.
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6. The Miami of Ohio State University
I've already mentioned the hockey disaster, but both Miami and Ohio State's hoopsters fared well this weekend. The Buckeyes knocked off Northwestern 61-52 on Saturday and will travel to #16 Michigan State tomorrow night. Ohio State (8-4, 19-4) is currently in a three-way tie for second place in the Big Ten just a half-game behind Iowa (9-4, 20-7.) After MSU the Buckeyes will finish off the regular season against Michigan, at Northwestern, and Purdue.

Miami (11-3, 15-8) has two key match-ups this week after getting their 6th straight victory at home against Illinois State on Saturday. They currently sit in 3rd place in the MAC East behind Akron (12-2, 19-6) and Kent State (12-2, 19-7.) However, the Redhawks will play at home against the Zips and then at the Golden Flashes tomorrow and Saturday. The division title and #1 MAC tournament seed should be wrapped up with a pair of victories as the Miami boys finish the season against bottom-feeders Bowling Green and Buffalo.

Finally, the Lady Buckeyes absolutely destroyed the #14 Michigan State Spartans over the weekend 69-38. Ohio State (13-1, 23-2) is currently ranked #7 and would clinch the Big Ten championship with a win at home against #10 Purdue (12-2, 21-4) on Thursday night.