The Minnow and it's three hour tou-, er, uh....orgy?

I'm sure you've all heard about the Minnesota Vikings sex boat cruise by now. Here are my two favorite excerpts from the criminal complaints that were filed. This site has the entire thing posted. Highest of high comedy.

Fred Smoot: Was seen holding a double-headed dildo and moving the dildo while each end was inserted into the vagina of two women who were lying on the floor near the lounge area of the charter boat. After a period of time, one of the women got up and Mr. Smoot continued to manipulate the dildo inside the other woman.

Bryant McKinnie: (McKinnie is witnessed) pick up a naked woman, place her on the bar in the lounge area and commence to perform oral sex on her. ...At a different time during the evening, (witnesses) saw Mr. McKinnie along with three other unidentified males receiving oral sex from four women while the men were seated in deck chairs on the boat.

I originally found this on deadspin as well...my favorite comment in response being this:

Fred Smoot the mastermind behind cover 2.

And how disgusting is McKinnie for going down on a hooker!? Are you nuts, man?